Birthparents. It's the big question we get when people are asking about fostering and/or adopting. "Aren't they creepy?" "Won't they hunt you down and steal the child back?!"
Umm..NO
Birthparents. They are just people who are going through a very broken time in their lives. They truly love their children, but aren't able to take care of them. Or sometimes, would rather their child have a different life then they can provide. When we receive a new child, I always write a letter to the birth parent to tell them we will take good care of their child while they get their lives back together. I don't want to be their enemy. I want to walk beside them while they grow and heal. Several children have left our home. And it is sad. But they are God's children, not mine. He has plans for them that I may never understand. But boy am I thankful, He let us parent the ones he has allowed to stay in our home forever.
I absolutely adore the relationships we have with the birth families of our adopted children. We have met grandmothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It's so sweet to see how many people love these children. God can do some amazing things in these relationships.
Not all birth parents chose to have such an open relationship with their children and the adoptive family. That breaks my heart. (Sometimes it is a safety issue for a child to continue a relationship with birth parents. And in that instance, distance is a better choice.) For a child to know who they are and where they come from is so important.
One of my favorite pictures is below. It shows the love and sacrifice of this whole situation. I sat on the hospital bed with our precious birth mom and hugged and cried with her. My heart was so conflicted. I was aching for her loss that was to happen in that hour, but overjoyed at our precious new baby. It truly was the definition of bittersweet. As we walked out with our new baby, I glanced back once again at this precious young girl in the room. That image is forever burned in my memory. I wanted to run back and take her home with me too. I love her so much. I spent most of that day praying that God would comfort her heart.
The Lord is near to those who are broken hearted. And He brings beauty out of ashes.
I view our birth families as our extended family. We communicate regularly and I strive for our children to have a good relationship with these loved ones. Even our birth children regularly refer to our birth families as if they are a normal part of their lives. Seeing them love on others is so important. Life is hard and emotional. But we can't become comfortable or we would forget what we are striving for in this world. Showing others Jesus, and praying they follow along with us to Heaven.
Thank you to every brave parent that allows their child to be raised by a different family. You are heroes in my eyes.
What a sacrifice. What an impact you have made. What love.
Why I need grace....
Haley
